A Tiding of Magpies Read online

  “You’re new here.” The warriors turned to face Windsor as he leaned back in his chair. “We have rules,” he continued. “This is a no-conflict zone. No fighting allowed.” His hand grazed the pommel of his sword.

  “Right.” Beth stood up and folded her arms. “Take it outside.” Gregor looked up from his plate as his forepaws started to glow.

  “Do you think you can tell Lord Hong’s elite warriors what to do?” Liao Po said.

  “We can do more than that.” A dark-haired faerie in black rose and faced Hong’s men, setting her book aside as she stood. “Much more.” Beth could see the fury in Scylla’s eyes, and she trembled for a moment.

  “Aye.” Ulbricht pushed his chair in as he and the other dwarves got up. “Let’s take it outside. We haven’t had a good scrap in weeks.”

  “Right.” Aloysius was standing in the kitchen doorway, his wings flapping, and for the first time that Beth could remember, the chef was genuinely angry. “Out,” he growled in his deep voice, pointing at the door as his red eyes glowed. “Now.”

  “Lord Hong’s finest warriors do not fear…” Liao Po glanced towards the back of the diner, and his voice trailed off.

  Sam had been sitting in his favorite spot, by the back wall in the one chair in the diner that could hold his monstrous reptilian frame, reading the Sunday paper. He was now standing, his head just short of the ceiling. His tail swatted back and forth, and he roared a shout of challenge as he took a step towards Lord Hong’s men. Steam drifted from his nostrils.

  Liao Po snorted as he pushed Mandy down to the floor and reached for his sword. “If you stand with the Princess,” he said, “you will—”

  “That does it!”

  Hong’s men gasped with fear as the Monkey Queen charged out of the restroom, brandishing her staff. “You heard these people!” she shouted as she ran at them. “Take it outside!” Liao Po and the others tried to back away, but Michiko turned her staff sideways and swept them along in front of her like lost and naughty sheep.

  As they neared the door, it was opened from the outside by a woman of a certain age with curly gray hair and a purple sweater. “Good morning, everyone!” Mary Crimble said. She noticed Michiko shepherding Hong’s men along just in time and moved aside, holding the door open as they tumbled out.

  Beth jumped up from her table and ran after Michiko. “Thanks,” she said to Mary as she hurried past.

  The visitor sprung from her hiding place behind the pastry counter and followed Beth outside. “Have a great day!” Mary said cheerfully as she stepped away from the door and headed in.

  As the door slammed shut, Mec pulled free from Puck and ran to Mandy’s side, just beating Aloysius there. “You okay, sugarplum?” the gremlin asked as he helped the pixie up.

  “I’m fine, sweetie,” Mandy said as she brushed herself off. “But they’d better come back soon.”

  “Those jerks?”

  “No, Michiko and Beth. They haven’t paid yet.”

  “That’s not all they forgot,” Gregor snapped.

  Sam took his lift-and-erase board from its spot on the wall. He wrote on it with the talon of his forefinger and held it up: Should we help?

  Windsor chuckled. “There’s only seven of them, my friend. Michiko may not even break a sweat. In fact—” He pointed towards the window. “Maybe we can pick up a trick or two by watching her at work.”

  “Okay!” Michiko shouted as she moved away from the door. “You bozos have caught me on the wrong end of a bad week, and that woman you pushed around is a friend of mine! Time to get your butts kicked!”

  “We outnumber you seven to one!” Liao Po snapped as he and his companions circled her.

  “I know.” Michiko smiled. “This is gonna be fun!”

  “And it’s actually seven to two!”

  As Michiko’s smile widened, the warriors gaped and Beth watched in awe as she stood by the door, the princess did a backflip over Hong’s men, landing next to Michiko as she pulled the fans from her belt. “Surrender!” she shouted.

  “You’d fight us with fans?” Liao Po started to snicker. “Just like a spoiled royal brat!”

  The princess snapped the fans open, and Beth could see they were iron and brass, decorated with the same phoenix motif as the crest she wore. “I am the granddaughter of the Great Tactician!” the princess said. “I have studied under the Imperial Masters! Underestimate me if you will, but the Monkey Queen and I will…what did you say?” she asked Michiko, glancing over her shoulder.

  “Kick their butts!” Michiko grinned.

  “Thank you.” The princess smiled as she raised the twin fans. “Shall we?”

  “Yep!” Hong’s men started to draw their swords, but Michiko swatted two of them in the hands. As they winced, she parried a swing from a third and caught him in the side on the backswing.

  As he toppled over, two more charged the princess. One swung at her, and she brought her fans together in front of her. The sword clanged off them and bounced back; as it did, the princess brought up her knee, getting the warrior below the belt, in a place his armor didn’t cover properly. He sagged to the ground.

  The other warrior swung at the princess, but she jumped to one side to evade the blow. She snapped her fans shut and struck her foe on his helmet with one, then the other. He reeled, and a kick in the back of his knee brought him down.

  The princess turned towards Michiko, who had disposed of four of the warriors and was facing the last one standing, Liao Po. “I will not surrender, Monkey Queen!” he shouted as he raised his sword. “My Lord Hong—”

  Michiko parried Liao Po’s swing hard enough to knock his sword out of his hand and send it flying. She poked him in the stomach with her staff. As he doubled over she kicked him, not hearing the faint tearing of fabric. The warrior tumbled ten feet along the ground, smashing into a nearby wood bench. “Never lay a hand on my friends again!” Michiko shouted.

  Liao Po scrambled to his feet. “Retreat!” he yelled as he ran off into the woods; the rest of Hong’s warriors jumped up and followed him.

  Michiko turned towards the princess. “Oh my gosh!” she said, smiling joyously. “It’s so good to—”

  “Michiko,” the princess said, “we don’t have time to spare. We need to return to the Far Lands at once.”

  “Why?”

  “Lord Hong’s men are preparing to execute my boyfriend.”

  Michiko gasped with surprise. “You have a boyfriend?”

  “Not if we can’t get there in time to rescue him,” the princess said with a stern glare.

  “Right! You go ahead; we’ll catch up.”

  The princess nodded and ran, heading in the direction the warriors had taken. “So how long are you going to be gone?” Beth asked.

  “You mean, how long will we be gone!” Michiko picked Beth up bridal style and ran after the princess.

  “Michiko!” Beth said. “What are you—”

  “There’s no time!” Michiko said. “We need to help my friend!”

  “And all it’s going to cost is my dignity.”

  “We’ll laugh about this later. You should—”

  “Get my smartphone out and text Puck and Grandmother Fox that we may be gone for a couple of days?” Beth was already tapping the screen of her phone.

  “Yep!” Michiko said as she caught up to the princess.

  She glanced back at them and raised an eyebrow. “I thought we needed to travel light.”

  Michiko smiled. “This is my partner, Beth McGill.”

  “Hey,” Beth said with a nod.

  “Do you always carry her everywhere?” the princess said.

  “You said we had to hurry,” Michiko said.

  “And your…partner?”

  “Yep!” Michiko’s face lit up. “We’ve been working together for about three months now. She’s smart, she thinks quickly—”

  “She’s portable,” Beth said, trying not to blush, as they veered off the trail and pushed through underbru
sh.

  Michiko giggled. “And she’s saved my butt more than once. She’s my best friend.” Beth smiled; after what they had been through, she was glad to hear Michiko getting back to her old self.

  They stopped near the auldgate. As Michiko set Beth down, the princess said, “I’ve rarely heard Michiko speak so highly of someone.” She bowed to Beth.

  “You’re forgetting something!” Michiko grinned.

  “Of course.” The princess nodded. “I am Jiao, Princess of Nui.”

  Beth bowed. “I am honored, Princess.”

  “Please call me Jiao. Michiko, we do need to hurry.”

  “Right!” Michiko and Jiao ran up to the stone platform; as they did, the marble gate came into view.

  “This Nui,” Beth said as she followed them. “I’ve been to Faerie through this gate, but it takes you to Dawnhome.”

  “A lesson I once learned, Beth,” Jiao said as she stepped to the other side of the platform, “is that all doors have two sides.” Beth followed her and saw that while the auldgate was the same on the other side, the energy inside was different, red and pulsing instead of swirling.

  “They’re called the Far Lands for a reason,” Michiko said to Beth. “If we had a globe of Faerie, you’d see that where Faerie itself was, Nui and the other kingdoms would be on the other side.”

  “Wow,” Beth said.

  “And it’s summer there, and the food is awesome!” Michiko said. “Let’s go, Jiao!” The princess nodded and led the way into the far side of the auldgate.

  Chapter Three

  The village square was usually a lot noisier, but the crowd had been cowed into near-silence by the two dozen armed guards that stood between them and the platform in the center of the square. Farmers, merchants, tradesmen and beggars alike all fumed, muttered and quietly cursed as they watched the leadup to the execution. In the distance, a magpie sang.

  An advisor dressed in a ceremonial red and gold robe embroidered with crossed swords stood on the platform, reading from a scroll he held in both hands. He was short with dark hair, and he squinted through his spectacles as he read. “The charges against you are treason, disobedience, covetousness, and disloyalty to Lord Hong! You have been found guilty of these grave crimes!” Next to him the executioner, a tall bald shirtless man with an impressive mustache and a rather large sword, nodded.

  “Crimes?” said the faerie the advisor had been addressing. He was young and tall, with high cheekbones and deep brown eyes, wearing a dark blue and silver zhiju shirt and black pants. He was on his knees, head bowed, hands tied behind his back, neck bared. “Tell me, Ah Sprin, since when is opposing Lord Hong in Nui a crime?”

  “This land is Lord Hong’s!” Ah Sprin said.

  “Not as long as the princess lives.”

  “That will change once Lord Hong takes her as his bride!”

  “A horrible fate indeed.” The prisoner raised his head. “I doubt that these good people will stand for this.” The crowd started to mumble, but a glare from the executioner quieted them down.

  “Prince Yun of Xia!” Ah Sprin shouted as he tucked the scroll away inside his robe. “Have you any last words?”

  Yun’s eyes lit up. “I do,” he said with a surprisingly warm smile. “I wish to speak of my one true love, Princess Jiao of Nui.”

  “You dare!” the advisor hissed. “You insolent dog!”

  “You cannot deny me my last words,” the prince countered. “And how would Hong react if he knew you were keeping people from praising his intended bride?”

  Ah Sprin gritted his teeth. “Proceed, then. But keep it short!”

  “But how?” Yun said. “How can I condense my thoughts and feelings for the pure beauty of Jiao, Princess of Nui? How, when every detail is fixed in my mind! The wonder of her eyes, that glow with the warmth of her fiery loving heart!”

  “Classically trained,” the executioner whispered. Ah Sprin hid his face in his hands.

  “Her lustrous black hair, in which I have often searched for stars, as I have mistaken it for the night sky!”

  “Stop the execution!”

  Ah Sprin glanced at the crowd, where an elderly woman had pushed her way up to the front. She was very short, very wrinkled, and missing a significant number of teeth, and her gray hair had been put up with a lifetime’s supply of pins. The others in the crowd had seen her priestess’ robes, white with wide sleeves and the endless knot crest, and had backed away respectfully. “Must you interrupt?” the advisor said. “We’re on a schedule.”

  “Her teeth!” Prince Yun said. “Like perfectly carved pearls!”

  “We were on a schedule,” Ah Sprin said with a sigh. “What is it?”

  “The gods have spoken to me!” the priestess said. “They say that if this execution is carried out, they will be terrible in their wrath!”

  “Her ears! No shell ever will compare!”

  “Lord Hong does not fear the gods!” Ah Sprin said with a sneer.

  “But does he fear…” The priestess paused, seemingly for dramatic effect. “The Monkey Queen?” The crowd gasped.

  “What?” Ah Sprin said.

  “The Monkey Queen comes to rescue the prince! And Princess Jiao comes with her!”

  As the crowd cheered, the official sputtered, “Don’t be ridiculous, you foolish old woman!”

  “Her nose!” Prince Yun said. “So beautiful that bad odors are ashamed to approach it!”

  “The princess and the Monkey Queen will bring Lord Hong to his knees!” the priestess shouted. The crowd cheered again.

  “You lie!” Ah Sprin yelled. “They are not coming!”

  “Do not question the gods!”

  “Her fingernails! Perfectly trimmed and buffed, so that they glow like sunlight on the plains!”

  “Shall I chop off his head before he starts praising her armpits?” the executioner murmured.

  Yun smiled. “Yes! Her underarms! With the sweet smell of cherry blossoms—”

  “Enough!” the advisor screamed as he charged towards the priestess. “There is no Monkey Queen! She is a fairy tale for children! A fable! A myth!”

  Ah Sprin felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He turned.

  “Hi there!” the Monkey Queen said sweetly. “Myth me?” She slugged Ah Sprin, sending him sprawling.

  The advisor landed at the feet of a group of warriors. They drew their swords as Ah Sprin pointed at Michiko. “Kill her!” he said. “Executioner, proceed!”

  The executioner nodded. “Farewell,” he said to the prince as he raised his sword. “Long life to Lord Hong.”

  A pair of iron and brass fans knocked the sword aside. Before the executioner could react, Jiao swung both fans at him, hitting him on the sides of his head. As he reeled away in a daze, she knelt by Prince Yun. “Armpits like cherry blossoms?” she asked as she started to untie him.

  “You should have heard what I said about your nose,” Yun responded.

  “You and your sweet talk.” Jiao smiled.

  “Can you get those ropes?”

  “I’m trying,” she said as she tugged at them, “but they’re knotted tight.”

  “Now if you’d only bought the razor-edged fans, I’d be free already.”

  “Cousin Ming tried those once,” Jiao said. “She wrecked three dresses—”

  “Princess!” She looked over at the executioner, who was getting to his feet. “Move away from Prince Yun!”

  “Never,” Jiao said. “We stand together. We will die together.”

  “How convenient.” The executioner raised his sword.

  “Hey, fathead!”

  The executioner turned and saw Beth, standing near the edge of the platform, her wand in hand. “Wizard!” he hissed.

  “I’ve been called worse.” Beth aimed her wand at him and shouted, “Zap!”

  The magic bolt struck the executioner in the chest. He yelped in pain, staggering as the hair on his arms and torso stood on end. He glared at Beth and growled, “Filthy wizard!
”

  “Okay,” Beth said as she stepped back, raising her hands. “Maybe ‘fathead’ was a little bit harsh—”

  “I hate wizards!” the executioner roared as he chopped through the air with his sword. “Die!”

  “Oh crap.” Beth turned and jumped off the platform, running through the square as the crowd dove out of her way. With a snarl, the executioner followed her.

  “Should we help?” Prince Yun asked as Princess Jiao finished untying the ropes.

  “She can take care of herself,” Jiao said. “I think.”

  “Monkey Queen!” Ah Sprin said as he stood. “Surrender! You are outnumbered!”

  “I defeated five of your Lord Hong’s men already,” Michiko said, “without breaking a sweat.”

  “Guards!” the advisor shouted. “Get her! Kill the Monkey Queen!” The six warriors he stood in front of ran past him, swords readied.

  Michiko waited patiently as they neared her. Then, she jumped, somersaulting over their heads and landing behind them. Before the warriors could stop, she kicked the one bringing up the rear in the derriere. He stumbled into the others, and they fell over in a heap. “Strike!” she yelled, raising her arms.

  She glanced over her shoulder and saw the poleaxe swinging down at her head. She backflipped to avoid the blow; the axe blade struck the ground as its wielder cursed. Michiko jumped on the poleaxe’s shaft and, with a grin, kicked the guard in the face. As he staggered back, she jumped off the shaft and kicked her foe again, knocking him down, not noticing the sound of tearing denim. “And the extra point is good!” she shouted.

  “Enough!” Michiko turned as she landed and saw one of Hong’s men closing in, swinging his sword. As she dodged, the guard added, “True masters of combat do not make jokes!”

  “But what else can I make?” Michiko said as she swung her staff at the guard.

  “Make yourself ready for the grave!” The guard spun out of the way of her attack and stabbed at her.

  Michiko bent to one side to evade the attack, then dropped her left arm, trapping the guard’s sword arm between her arm and her body. “That’s no fun,” she said as she brought up a knee. As the guard sagged, Michiko stepped back and hit him over the head with her staff. “I’d rather make cookies instead!” she said.